I think i'm bi-polar.
one minute i'm happy, the next i'm sad, the next i'm energetic, etc.
maybe it's because of all these thoughts jumbled in my head.
so while in Cambodia, the thought of coming home to start the youth internship was kind of a downer for me and i didn't really think much of it. and then when i got home, the first week, i kind of just took it as a job and as a small little thing that i shouldn't fret over too much, because teaching bible study a couple of days out of my week seemed pretty easy enough.
then vbs came, and you know, i saw the youth and i was kind of discouraged. most of them just talked and wanted to spend the whole time chatting. at that moment, i knew that this would be a hard summer. then the day before the last day of vbs, God gave me a passion for the youth. i really yearn for the youth to become leaders for Christ, with not just the mindset of having fun at church, but truly wanting to glorify God.
but, already it's been tough. 2 wednesday bible study's have passed and i feel like such a let down to God and the kids. i pray for God to use me and give me the wisdom to teach what He wants the youth to know, but it's not happening. it's pretty hurtful when you're trying to teach, and everyone's talking not because i get hurt from the lack of attention, but the lack of respect. i know i'm not the best role model and i am a goofball so why should i have their respect, but i just want the youth to be serious about God. and i know God will take care of my words, but i'm still worried that the wrong words will just shoot out of my mouth. how in the world do you get respect? by saving a baby in a burning house? i guess that's more of the heroics.
and another thing is, i donno what kind of emotion i should have. what right do i have to be sad, when i have sucha blessed life. i think i need to find out who i am, but isn't that some kind of pre-teen dilemma.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
if youre excited about what you are teaching, then the kids will sense your enthusiasm and they will start to pay attention. i realized that here as im teaching the monsters in korea. if i act like i dont care about what i'm teaching, boring grammar or ineffective conversational skills, then the kids notice it and they dont bother paying attention. but if i teach enthusiastically, regardless of the boring subject matter, then the kids pay attention.
ReplyDeleteyou have to get their attention. you don't ask for it. you just have to get it. and the best way to do that is to be enthusiastic and assertive.
and as far as respect, you have to earn their respect. they are always watching you, remember that. and once they see how hard you are working and how much you are giving for this internship, they will start to respect you.
when i did the youth internship, the kids didnt give a rat's butt about me and jayjay. but we worked hard anyways and we gave it our best, regardless of the fact that the youth thought we were crazy.
just have fun, be enthusiastic and assertive and work hard. the rest will come in later.
:)
RC! Your testimony this past Sunday was great! When I was a senior at FKBC our teacher James Huang felt the same way. Honestly, we were brats. But his undying willpower and persistence proved to be a great inspiration and to this day, I am so thankful for it.
ReplyDeleteSo press on RC! Though this internship seems tough right now, with time the blessings will overflow, both in your life and the youths'.
Have an awesome summer!
-jkizzle
[man.. I wrote a whole paragraph and then it was erased.. so here I go again haha]
ReplyDeleteaww RC~ I know you're doing a great job!! Don't be discouraged.. youth group is a hard age group. They look disinterested, they're rude and disrespectful, and they don't pay attention. But like Amy and Jessica said, do your best and have fun with it. The youth will one day look back and remember the things you taught and the time you spent with them. And remember "..Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 You're not doing it alone. You're not doing it for the youth kids. You're doing it for God's kingdom and He will always be with you!