summer time

You know, you would think that once school ended, and summer began, life would get easier and happier. But just because life becomes easier, doesn't mean you get to be happy right? I didn't know that; maybe it's because I had such high expectations for summer and for what it could become. Or maybe I yearned to be too happy, that I just suddenly imploded into, I guess a "little depression". Whatever it is, I don't feel that great these days and I've been kind of mean, kind of impatient and kind of indifferent towards a lot of subjects. I think what i want to do is just lock myself in my room and sleep until the summer ends. I think i've become someone that has lived without desires and realization of who i am. like for one thing, i know that i love attention, but i really need to change that because i dont want it anymore, i want God to have all the attention and just by craving attention from people, i think i become so selfish and the friendships that i have deteriorate faster because of it. then i become manipulative and try to change friends' reactions and opinions of me. i dont want it anymore, so i pray for more humbleness, a low amount of pride, and a lot of forgiveness from not only God, but from friends and family. i'm sorry.

oh yeah no more gossip for me
i guess confiding is different but i still haven't quite figured out how to filter how to block gossip and confiding as they coincide.